Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Fail Art: how to ruin a perfectly good mani

It's no secret I love to stick ridiculous shizz to my nails. Observe:

My Lemon-lime mani from the other day, tackified. Ok, maybe this wouldn't have been THAT ridiculous if I were only capable of slicing the fimo lemon cane thingy evenly...

The current trend of sticking ridiculous shizz to one's nails (fuzz, fish-eggs, cupcake sprinkles, even salt) only fuels this innate desire. And, when the fates align and I find some crazy new-to-me material at Michael's, stuff like this happens:
I can't find my charger and my camera's battery died, so I had to resort to cell phone pics. That's ok, though. Certain things actually benefit from lacking mega-pixels. 

Yep, that's right. You had to see it 3 times. Just imagine the score from Psycho playing in the background while you look at these pics. So what is this? It's a vial of Martha Stewart "Vintage Leaf Glitter." It is AWESOME--looks like someone smashed a bunch of Christmas balls and put them on the market. I found a 12 pack of these vials during my last foray into Michael's. I busted out my 40% off coupon, snatched me a pack and told it right there in the middle of the store "oh yea you are SO going on my nails." And I skipped out of the store with visions of broken-glass nails dancing through my head.

My usual method for adhering crap to my nail plate is to slap on a healthy coat of Gelous, mash whatever material I'm working with down into it and then seal it up with MOAR Gelous. Of course, the problem with this stuff arose when I had to spend FOREVER layering and arranging piece after piece of randomly-shaped glitter and then snipping off all the pokey little edges at my cuticles and at the free edges of my nails. This glitter must be made out of Teflon or something because it simply did NOT want to stick. But I'm a hardheaded fool who is unable to accept defeit persistent chick and, after some time (more time than I care to admit to), I managed to beat Martha's glitter into submission and got it stuck down, leveled off and pointy-free. 

Too bad it's still a hot mess...yep, this is definitely one for the Fail Art folder. 

Oh, yea I guess I should mention what polishes I'm wearing here--2 coats of N.Y.C. Empire State Blue topped with 1 coat of Spoiled Use Protection (if that's not a 'WTF' name, I don't know what is). Empire State Blue is a beautiful teal-leaning blue with a green-to gold flash. It's almost duochromatic which is pretty damn kick-ass for a 99 cent polish. Spoiled Use Protection is a sheer teal jelly polish with copper, gold, blue and what looks like light green glitter (though it could be silver glitter tinted green by the jelly base). Oh and did I mention the gold micro-shimmer? SO pretty...

it's a shame cuz this mani was actually really pretty before I defiled it with that train-wreck of an accent finger.

When will I ever learn to leave well enough alone?


  1. LOL. I do stuff like this all the time and wonder why I couldn't leave it alone.
    I caved to some Martha Stewart glitters too the last time I was at Michael's.

  2. I'm convinced martha puts crack in her glitter...that's how she keeps us coming back.


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